Thursday, October 17, 2013

How the Discovery Channel Has Failed My Kids


The Discovery Channel has failed my kids. So have National Geographic and BBC.

You can't produce documentaries that will enthrall my boys with amazing accounts of and prehistoric creatures and then not have the merchandising to back it up.

What's a mom supposed to do when her son wants a Postosuchus toy for Christmas? When he wants to be a Mosasaur for Halloween? When he wants a Megalodon t-shirt?

Batman's drawing of a Mosasaur


Sure, your documentaries are awesome. Because of them, I now know that the Quetzalcoatlus was the largest creature to ever fly. Deinosuchus was one of the largest prehistoric crocodiles to ever live.  And Guanlong is a lesser known relative of the Tyrannosaurus. Not because I've watched these shows, but because my son has watched them and shared his equally vast and obscure knowledge with me.

(Note: when I say that my son and I "know" these things, I'm of course using that term loosely, since these crazy paleontologists are always changing their minds. Was the T. Rex a predator or a scavenger? Make up your mind, peeps, or at least stop pretending like you know the answer.)

But the real issue here is not about how awesomely produced your documentaries are. The point is we have a real merchandising problem.

Take a cue from other kids' programming. You don't see DC comics loafing it on the merchandising end. Just try to find me something you can't buy with the bat symbol on it.

And how about Thomas & Friends? There's no limit to the number of new trains that will appear on the Island of Sodor. (Seriously, how big is this island, and why are they perpetually trapped in the 1950s?)

Or ask yourself, what would Disney do? Then get in touch with the people at McDonalds and start planning some Happy Meals.

Okay, so maybe there are people out there who think that TV-themed toys are more limiting to kids' imaginations because they supply "pre-made" storylines and characters. And maybe there's some truth to that. But this is all in the name of education, for pete's sake. A few figurines would surely simplify things when we want to play "cretaceous period," right?

But, since you have failed in this area, we are left to our own devices. I'm currently working on sewing a Mosasaur costume for my little Batman, and we're also working on salt dough Mosasaurs (photos to come). Next up, iron-on t-shirt transfers.

Darn you, Discovery Channel.

10 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thanks! The things we do for our kids, right? ;-)

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  2. We have the same problem - the website nothingbutdinosaurs.com helps me out a little, but nothing on the scale I would like. I love your blog - I've nominated you for a Sunshine Award: http://ididntlisten.blogspot.com/2013/10/sunny-skies-celebrating-sunshine-award.html

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    1. Thanks so much, Lauren! I'll hop on over and check out your post!

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  3. You can try checking up on the "Papo" line of dinosaur toys to see if they have any - sometimes you really have to dial down and check for species rather than phenotypes. For instance, they have Tylosaurus (who is a mosasaur) but no generic Mosasaur figures.

    http://www.amazon.com/Papo-Tylosaurus-Dinosaur-Toy-Figure/dp/B006UAT4UQ/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

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    1. Thanks for the link! I was watching one of these on eBay, but it wasn't labeled very well, so I didn't realize I could find a new one on Amazon.

      I know SafariLtd.com sells a ton of different species of prehistoric creatures but our stores that carry the brand locally don't have the obscure ones.

      Either way, I'll have to settle for not seeing them in person!

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  4. I'm waiting for 3D printers become more accessible to the point where many/most households have one, and then these documentaries (and other productions) can just include downloadable 3D printer project files that you can just upload to your printer and spit out that model or toy or whatever yourself.

    Someday. ;-)

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    Replies
    1. In the meantime, there are all sorts of other crazy directions you can look for things to tie into their dinosaur-mania. E.g., just one odd such possibility: http://amzn.to/H2Dxgr

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    2. Oh my gosh that would be so awesome!

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  5. How discovery channel has failed my kids Discover new favorites, watch full episodes, and interact with other TV fans - TV.com. ... My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic ... recycling programming ideas every three years, by which time a new group of kids is watchinghttp://topusachannels.blogspot.com/2013/03/discovery-channel-kids-live-free.htmlSpongeBob has failed her class many times and has gotten on Mrs. Puff's nerves so much that she

    ReplyDelete

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