6 Words My 1-year-old Shouldn't Know

Everything is different the second time around, and it's certainly true with the words Baby Bat is learning. No, I'm not talking about 4-letter words. But these are definitely words that were not in Batman's vocabulary at this age.

1. Coffee

Baby Bat has been pointing to my mug for awhile and saying "coffee?" which has been kind of funny and cute. This morning, however, he formed his first ever 3-word "sentence" using this new word. I was making a pot of coffee in the kitchen, and he toddled up to me and said, "Drew have coffee?" Now there's one for the baby book.

An Imagination Disaster

Batman: Do you know why I don't flush the toilet?

Me: Why?

Batman: It's because I do my imagination, and I think there's a monster behind the curtain, and if I make any sounds or move at all, I think it's going to come out and eat me and swallow me whole.

Me: I see.

Batman: And I'm afraid a monster made out of pee and poo is going to come out of the toilet and go all around the house making a terrible smell and chasing everyone. Isn't that a terrible monster?..... Why are you laughing? It's not funny! It's an imagination disaster.

Raising Batman is now featured on AllTop.com!

A few weeks ago I submitted this blog to be listed on AllTop.com, and my submission was recently approved!

I was kind of excited when I got the email. Success!

Now let me clarify one thing... I have no idea how significant this listing is. It's quite possible they say yes to everyone. In their FAQs, they claim they don't list everyone, but that could be some clever marketing going on there... who knows?

How the Discovery Channel Has Failed My Kids

The Discovery Channel has failed my kids. So have National Geographic and BBC.

You can't produce documentaries that will enthrall my boys with amazing accounts of dinosaurs and prehistoric creatures and then not have the merchandising to back it up.

What's a mom supposed to do when her son wants a Postosuchus toy for Christmas? When he wants to be a Mosasaur for Halloween? When he wants a Megalodon t-shirt?

Batman's drawing of a Mosasaur

Sure, your documentaries are awesome. Because of them, I now know that the Quetzalcoatlus was the largest creature to ever fly. Deinosuchus was one of the largest prehistoric crocodiles to ever live.  And Guanlong is a lesser known relative of the Tyrannosaurus. Not because I've watched these shows, but because my son has watched them and shared his equally vast and obscure knowledge with me.

(Note: when I say that my son and I "know" these things, I'm of course using that term loosely, since these crazy paleontologists are always changing their minds. Was the T. Rex a predator or a scavenger? Make up your mind, peeps, or at least stop pretending like you know the answer.)

But the real issue here is not about how awesomely produced your documentaries are. The point is we have a real merchandising problem.